The Department of Nomenclature is the fifth department of the Brennholt Institute of Applied Taxonomy, opened on 8 October 2026 to propose names and size classes for objects that are sold by size but have no agreed names. Its first subject is the marble, and its finding is that readers do not ask the Institute for a measurement but for a vocabulary.
The four earlier departments dealt with a number: a weight, a thickness, a length. This one deals with the word that stands in for the number.
When the Institute reviewed the questions people type about everyday objects, it found a pattern. For some objects the question is a number: how thick is a guitar pick. For others it is a name: what are the sizes of marbles called. The second kind is rarer and harder, because a number can be measured, whereas a name must be agreed.
In the Institute's reading, an object with a name for each size has a settled trade. An object without one has a trade that has never been written down, and the buyer is left to point.
| Page | Question it answers | Institute proposal |
|---|---|---|
| Marble sizes and names | What each size of marble should be called | Seven classes, M1 to M7 |
| Marble sizes in mm and inches | The measurements behind the classes | Class boundaries in both units |
| The naming problem | Why unclassified objects resist description | A short theory of the gap |
The same four steps run through the Department of Thickness and Gauge, the Department of Length and Fit and the Department of Office Fastening. A reader who has met them there will recognise them here.
The Institute distinguishes three things that are often confused. A trade word is a term makers and sellers use, such as thin, medium or heavy. A class is a numbered band with stated boundaries. A name is a word that points to one class and nothing else. Most everyday objects have trade words, a few have classes, and almost none have names. The department aims to supply the second and the third.
A trade word is not worthless. The Institute has found that the same word, for instance 'medium', can cover a spread of several tenths of a millimetre between makers, and that is precisely the problem a numbered class solves. A class does not replace the trade word. It stands beside it, so that two readers can say they mean the same thing.
It will not rename an object that already has an established name. It will not contradict a published standard. It will not claim that its proposed classes are in use anywhere, and it records on every page that no maker has adopted them. The register of objects the Institute will consider is set out in its admission criteria, and the wider case for why such gaps exist is made in objects classified by none.
The review panel divides on whether a name can be proposed at all. One member holds that a name is a fact about usage and cannot be issued by a body; it can only be observed. The majority hold that a proposal is the first step in usage, and that every settled name began as someone's suggestion. The department proceeds on the majority position, and says so on each page.